December 23, 2017

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Xmas time again

December 23, 2017


So here we are again, same time of year where gifts are purchased, people go home to their loved ones and suicide rates go up like prices at Christmas....AH! 'Tis the season. 


The guys and I want to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday. Andy is in Oshawa with his wife and their families, Chris in Spain with his girlfriend and their families, I am staying home and listening to John Mcglaughlin and the marvelous discography of Mahivishnu orchestra, trying to make sense of the world one note at a time.


I want to touch on some things that have come to my attention recently. Things about myself and some others I've had the chance to babble with.

We all have our demons. I suffer from certain cerebral imbalances...Mental anxieties, depressions and the like. I am also a recovering alcoholic and drug user... these are things I have wished to never make public but I've noticed a trend in my emotions this time of year every year.

This morning i wanted nothing more than to crack open a bottle of Rum, add it to my morning coffee and just slide into a blissful blackout...depression strikes again. Maybe i could also give into a vice that took me six years to quit and enjoy a nice fresh pack of cigarettes and a winterly wizard-like concoction of hard drugs....drugs which also go up the nose like prices at Christmas. ;) 


But alas....fuck that.....

I realize yes, i may be depressed...but ive also chosen to sit around and just be depressed.....I went back to bed after checking my phone for possibilities of much wanted female attention...To no avail....that is bad behaviour and feeling sorry for myself...well, let's just say i have better things to do....

Writing this out has honestly helped me cope with it...just getting it out.


So to you all of my dear brothers and sisters in the world.....Depressed and ready for something whacky to go down or not.......

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. For myself, I will put on some Jaco records and play some bass...ill do my damn laundry and finally take a shower. I will slide back into a depressive state at some point...i know this...but at least i know if i stick it out, it will turn itself around.....

PLEASE just get outside of yourself, turn off the devices, look up at the world you are ACTUALLY existing in and do something you normally enjoy....take a deep breath and reach out to someone for help...or write a blog no one will read....just get it out of you and i promise you will feel better!!!! <3 



We are ALL in this together. Suicide is not an option (thanks for that one Zakk) and neither is giving into negative vices or behaviour....take it from me....I've been through the black and made it out to the other side relatively unscathed...and I am thankful for that....

We all slip and fall, but the key is to get back up....or just walk out of a room that doest feel getting fucked up to forget about the world.....You're still in that world and its still coming back post- stupor...So please, make your peace with it in safe manners. 



Have a SAFE and FUN Holiday season....and also there is a South Park marathon on Much music right now! 



All the best and see you on the road. MUCH LOVE, PEACE, and RESPECT! 




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